It is hard when you have loved ones that are in some kind of self-destructive behaviors. When you experience this, you might have to detach yourself so that you do not let their problems depress you or hold you back.
Being attached to someone happens because we love them, and we care for them but being co-dependent can cause you hurt and pain in your heart. It is normal to have a healthy attachment to someone you love but when you are too attached to them, it no longer becomes healthy.
You need someone in your life that acts kindly and that is loving and compassionate. Having someone that wants to control you or someone that puts you down can cause your life to be hard. When you are in this type of relationship, you need to move on and let go.
Moving On
When you move on it is a way that you let go of someone that is causing your life to be overly emotional or unhealthy. You break off from relationships that are toxic or codependent.
What Moving on Isn’t
Moving on from someone means that you are making a step in your life that is healthy. It doesn’t mean that you should have to feel withdraw or that you have to completely ignore them.
Moving on does not mean that if you have a family member or a friend in need that you would completely neglect them, but it means that you move on in your life so that you can not be hurt and living a painful or heartbroken life.
How far away from this person is not the real answer. People are often attached to people even after they leave them. Even someone that lives far away can cause you to be attached or dependent on them.
These people can cause you to have strong emotions or say things that will hurt you or almost hold you captive.
Ways to Detach
Letting go of what you are feeling, and your toxic relationship can help to get rid of some of your own problems and your own emotional hurt. You have to learn not to react to things that they say to you and learn to stay in your own lane and staying out of their business.
By doing this, you are allowing them to not control you or cause you to feel a certain way and this can help to keep you healthy.
Keys to Moving On
Here are some keys to moving on:
- Set strong boundaries.
- Accept that they are who they are.
- Stay out of the past and the future and be in the present.
- Be responsible for your own emotions, feelings and what you need.
Loving Them and Still Moving On
When you first make the choice to move on, you have to be aware of what you are feeling and learn to embrace and accept it. You cannot hide your feelings or push them under the rug. Instead, you need to allow your love and compassion to shine through.
Do not try to control others and do not argue with the person that you have moved forward from. State your ideas and your feelings without fighting with other people.
Learn to have boundaries and to keep yourself separate from people that want to manipulate you. If you feel sad or if you need space, take it.
Do Not Involve Too Much
Being too attached to someone can cause you to worry and can cause you to be frustrated in your life. When you are always trying to give other people advice, you sometimes cross boundaries that you shouldn’t be crossing, and you have to learn to think independently. Here are some ways you can do that:
- Don’t let your own happiness depend on what other people are thinking or doing.
- Stop reacting harshly when you disagree with someone.
- Do not worry about everyone else’s problems.
- Stop spending time trying to figure out what everyone else is feeling and why.
- Do not neglect the things that you love to do or your job for others.
- Stop trying to do what pleases everyone else because you are afraid of being rejected.
- Learn to be happy on your own.
When you are too involved in trying to please other people, you often put your own emotions and feelings on hold. You try to impress others and try to force them to agree with your viewpoint. When this happens, you need to move on and stop trying to force others to do what you want them to do.
Why Moving on Is Good
Moving on and letting go can allow you to have peace and calmness in your life. Here are some things it can help you to do:
- Find new love.
- Learn to love and accept love.
- Have peace.
- Have freedom in your life.
- Get more time to do what you want.
- Allows you to make it through loss when it comes.
- Helps you to be independent.
We are the ones that are in control of our own thoughts and feelings. People are responsible for their own thoughts and emotions. If you want to give attention to someone here or there to help them work through their life, that is fine, but it becomes trouble when you are too codependent.
When you want to try to change other people and to fix all of their mistakes and problems, you are allowing them to control you and to keep you in heartbreak and pain.
You are not responsible to take care of others and you are not obligated to make people happy. Doing this will only cause you to have your own unhappiness and will leave you with hurt and resentment.
How to Move On
When you move on, you have to let your heart to accept that things will be changing. Here are some ways to move on:
- Find out what is real and what you are denying.
- Understand what you expect out of others.
- Know what your own motives are and why you are trying to force others or giving in to others.
- Accept things in your life such as your feelings and emotions.
- Learnt o meditate to keep you calm.
- Use positive affirmations to keep you positive.
- Attend meetings if you need them or get therapy.
Moving on can be very hard but it is something that will change your life for the better.