Breaking up is hard to do, as the old song goes. No matter what the situation, ending a relationship is hard for both involved. It may be an assumption the one being dumped has a more difficult time but that may not be true. It could be an incredibly difficult choice for the one initiating the breakup. It leaves both people feeling a loss and some pain even if the breakup is a mutual decision.
It may sound trite, but there are things you need to tell a friend experiencing a breakup. You may have heard some of these yourself. Don’t trivialize the power of words. Each statement conveys something that your friend may need to hear.
- I’m here for you. This is simple but conveys a simple truth of no judgment, just a listening ear, and an empathic attitude.
- Take it one day at a time. This is a good thing to say when your friend is worried about their future. Some do worry about the future after a breakup, especially if the couple has combined elements such as an apartment or house or a business.
- Be mature. This is an important reminder is these days of people lashing out quickly on social media after a breakup. Your friend could do well with encouragement to not rant or rage against their ex. They will do better to maintain their poise and dignity.
- Keep hoping. It is incredibly easy to lose hope that they will ever find true love or be happy again. You need to remind them that this moment is just a moment in a lifetime of moments and changes will surely happen over time.
- I have no advice for you. This can be a wonderful thing to say when you truly don’t know what to say. Your friend will appreciate the honesty rather than offer something trite. It may also encourage them to open up in trust more with you.
- You should apologize. Every friend needs someone who will call them out when they are wrong. Being upfront about their flaws will help them cope with the loss of a significant other.
- There is nothing wrong with you. Many people are at their lowest self-esteem after a breakup. They wonder what they did wrong or why they weren’t good enough. This is the perfect time to tell them they are wonderfully created and just right the way they are.
- Time heals all wounds. This may sound trite but it has always been true. The pain your friend feels now will diminish over time. They will find happiness again, even if it seems unattainable now.
- It’s a lesson learned. While this is an extremely overused expression, it does point to a truth. Every relationship teaches us something. It could be something about ourselves, about dealing with others, or about life in general. Helping your friend find the lessons will help them make sense of the breakup.
- Let’s go get a drink. This is the perfect way to get your friend out of the house and out of the self-pity dumps. It helps to let loose a little. It also gives your friend the time and space to let their emotions flow freely. Just be prepared if they cry at the bar.
- Love doesn’t die, it just changes. It will serve them well to point out that they have plenty of love inside of them ready to give. They may choose how to use it. It could be poured into a hobby or new project, things that improve themselves or their quality of life. It could also be poured into a relationship in the future.
- It’s no one’s fault. We all want to find a cause for a breakup. It is only natural to cast blame somewhere and that can vacillate between blaming the other person and blaming yourself. The truth is there are times when a relationship’s failure isn’t anyone’s fault. There are times when things just change and that affects the relationship.
- You did your best and gave it your all. This is particularly appropriate in cases where your friend has stayed in a relationship way too long and tried every option to fix it before ending it. Your friend should understand that others noticed their patients and efforts, so it was not in vain.
- You are strong, beautiful, and capable. Every woman enduring a breakup needs to hear words of value. This is a time when they feel rejected and flawed. They wonder if their shortcomings are what prompted the man in their life to say goodbye. Words of value will ground them in the truth that they are worthy of love.
- Everything happens for a reason. This is another overused statement that holds a lot of truth. Whether they believe in God, fate, or something else, there is an innate belief that everyone has a destiny and every situation is part of the overall plan. Understanding that something good can be gained from both the relationship and the breakup is an important part of healing.
- It’s their loss. Your friend will find comfort in these words because they will do a lot to boost their self-esteem.
- There are plenty of fish in the sea. Yes, this is an old cliche. However, many women feel like this guy could be the last train leaving the station. That is especially true if they are older and have had trouble in past relationships. Your friend needs to be reminded there will always be others as long as she is willing to love.
- Let it out. Your friend may need a release of emotion and the best thing you can do is let your cry and scream. She will be grateful she is with a safe person to let it all go.
- You will be alright, eventually. Secretly, your friend knows this but it never hurts to remind her.
- You need me to slash some tires? This is not meant to be taken seriously but the thought of you, as her friend, carrying out some serious vengeance will likely bring out a smile.
No matter what you say to your friend, realize that your friendship is more important now than ever. The most important thing is that you are there to help her through it.