Verbal abuse leaves the victim hurt and in a lot of pain. The victim usually tends to understand why the abuser treats them that way forgetting that other individual’s mean behavior cannot be explained or understood and make no sense at all and they are not involved.
Nevertheless, the victim continues researching to understand why the person treated them the way they did since he or she wants to make sense of the habit that can’t even end. The victim is just paranoid that maybe it’s due to their actions that they are being treated badly and believes that the abuser’s maltreatment must have an explanation.
The victim, therefore, decides to deal with the habit but not the manner in which the habit should be dealt with but the way he or she need to deal with the habit. The victim, therefore, inquires from the abuser to have a better understanding of the abuse.
Verbal and emotional abusers do not act rationally. Therefore coming into an understanding with them is like doing nothing. They will continue abusing you since they have no explanations as to why they behave like that.
You can never come into an understanding with an abuser
Verbal abuse is understood by very few individuals. Individuals who are used to in don’t even realize they are used to it and want other people to behave like that too. They don’t reason at all and believe that individuals don’t understand each other all the time but don’t see when somebody is abusive verbally.
Trying to come into an understanding with an abuser makes no sense even after recognizing it and trying to respond well.
A verbal abuser may undermine you and make you feel vulnerable for them to feed themselves and also feel like they have won. Calling an abuse to the abuser’s attention is the only way to end verbal abuse. If that doesn’t help then you have no option but to leave.