If you’re always arranging time together, changing your plans or making the first call after a disagreement, it can feel as though you’re carrying the relationship. Start with what repeats and how it affects you.
Write down two examples
Notice who starts conversations, rearranges work or checks in when one person is having a hard day. A difficult week can explain a temporary imbalance. Repeatedly dismissing the same concern deserves attention.
Ask for one change if it feels safe
Try “I’ve been doing most of the planning. Can you choose a time for us next week and let me know by Thursday?” Give them room to respond. Check whether the change actually happens and what it costs each person to keep it going.
Decide what you’re willing to keep doing
If nothing changes, you can stop taking on work you don’t want to keep doing. If you’re editing every word to avoid threats or anger, talk privately with someone who can support you. Read more about feeling unsupported in a relationship and recognising emotional abuse.