Being in an Abusive Relationship

Being in an Abusive Relationship

When you are in an abusive relationship, it is time to get out.  Here are some ways you will know:

Not Telling

If you find that you won’t talk to your family or friends about what he has done because you don’t want to make him look bad.


If he makes rules in your house and doesn’t tell you about them until you break them, this is abusive.

Shut Up

If you are crying and they tell you to shut up.


If you are with someone and he gets happy when you are in pain or hurt, this is a bad sign.


When your partner is mean and says mean things to you but says he is teasing, he is being abusive to you.  This needs to be a red flag.

Love Bombing

When a person love bombs you, it means that they are really into you and lavish you with gifts, but then they are mean to you later.


When your family doesn’t like your partner, chances are there is a reason.  They are able to see past things you cannot see, listen to them.


When you are with your partner and he begins to separate from you or your family then this is a bad sign.  If they don’t like your family for no reason, this can be a bad thing.  If they make you feel that everything you do is irrational or over the top, get out.


When they text you and call you so much that it becomes harassment, move out fast.


A person that is abusive will isolate you from your family and friends.  They will make you move to a different city or to a different state.  If he makes comments that are rude to your family, he might be doing that so that they will get mad and not want to be around him.


An abusive partner will blame you for cheating even when you aren’t.  If they keep talking about you having an affair, move on.


There is a red flag when a guy keeps telling you that everything is your fault.  No matter what happens, it is your fault.  This is an abusive relationship.

If you fear that there will be consequences when you do something wrong, take that as a sign to get out.


If someone makes you afraid because you want to bring up a problem, then they are abusive.  If they get defensive in the relationship, then you should move on.  You should be able to talk to someone without them getting mad at you.


If your partner needs your attention every second of the day, this is a red flag.  They are bad news.


When you are with someone and they don’t take your feelings serious, this is a bad sign.  This can be abusive and can be painful.

If your ex tells you that he would kill you if you cheated or that he would hurt you if you did something, get out while you can.

Gas Light

Gas lighting is when they blame you for things that will happen because of them.  If he asks you to be up early but won’t get up and then blames you for it, this is gas lighting.

If your partner is making you give up on doing things so he can blame you, this is abuse.


Your partner should never hide their spending or money from you.  When they do this, this can be a red flag.  If your partner won’t let you have your own money or bank account, take that as a sign to go.

If your partner makes you feel guilty for how he treats your pets or your family, leave him.  Don’t let him abuse you or those around you.


When your partner is rude about everyone you talk to, this can be a form of abuse.  If they don’t like your parents or your best friend, move on.  Normal people don’t do that.

Talking to Others

When you tell other people about what happens in your relationship and your partner freaks out, this can be a sign of an abusive relationship.

Passive Aggressiveness

When someone is being passive aggressive just to be mean, this can be cruel.  Move on from them before real abuse happens.

Feeling Bad

If you are with someone and they make you feel like you are ugly or that you are dumb, this is a bad relationship.  You should never be questioning yourself.

When you give them all of your attention and they still don’t’ trust you, this can make you feel even worse, move on.

Take Their Side

When you are with a person and they argue with someone, they should expect you to take the side of the truth.  If they get mad at you for taking the side of someone else, move on.  This can turn into something else later down the line and end up being an abusive relationship.

Breaking Up

If your partner threatens to break up with you or leaves every time you are mad or upset about something, this can be a red flag.  This is a relationship that is unhealthy and hurtful.

Other Signs:

  • Spending every second with you.
  • Not letting you out of their sight.
  • Saying you are wrong.
  • Causing you to feel bad when you are emotional.
  • Not allowed to be with friends.
  • Not allowed to hang out with his friends.
  • Fighting over everything.
  • Fights end only if you apologize.
  • Hates your family for no reason.
  • Accusing you of cheating.
  • Pressuring you to drink or do drugs.
  • Says you need to fix things about yourself.
  • Tells you that you are crazy.
  • Calls you a bitch.
  • Tells you that you are ugly.
  • Makes you promise to stop doing things.
  • Threatens to kill himself.
  • Threatens to kill your animals.
  • Threatens to kill your family.
  • Threatens to kill you.
  • Blames you for his faults.
  • Blames you for his addictions.
  • Blames you when he doesn’t do things.
  • Smothers you.
  • They have nothing positive to say about you.
  • Says positive things about other women but not you.
  • Harass you about your male friends.
  • Argue over everything.
  • Won’t accept you for who you are.
  • Ignores you when mad.
  • Leaves after every fight.
  • Gut feeling tells you they are dangerous.
  • Their actions make you feel that you are hated.


Being in an abusive relationship is not only hard and emotional, it can be dangerous.  Always look for signs of abuse and get out as soon as you feel that your partner is being abusive towards you.  Look for small signs that can lead to something more.  If you need help, tell your friends and family and seek professional help.

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