If you find yourself falling in love, but are afraid the new person is all wrong for you, then you have probably been hurt before and want to save the heartbreak. The good news is, you can keep yourself from falling in love so fast. True love takes time, so falling in love quickly is unwise, especially if you not know the person well. To keep from having a broken heart, take things slow by following the suggestions in this article.
Get to Know Them
Crushes are fine, but before you fall too hard based on looks or talent alone, take time to get to know the real person. If someone seems perfect on the outside, wonder why they are still alone.
Avoid Obsessive Communication
When you are first getting to know someone, avoid constant or even regular communication, because this can cause your attachment to grow. Attachment is not love and this needs to be taken slowly.
Family and Friends
If someone is showing interest in you, then introduce them to family and friends, if this is at all possible. Your brain is covered with emotion, but friends and family tend to offer an unbiased opinion about someone new. Ask these wise people who love you what they think and then take that into consideration.
Ask Others Who Know
Take the time to be stealthy and ask around about the new prospect. When talking to mutual friends, find a casual way to insert the new person into the conversation to see how they feel about them. Do not be obvious, but find out how others feel.
Group Date
Go out with the new person alone sometimes, but also try a group date to observe them in a more natural setting. Watch as they interact with friends to gauge how they will be in the long run.
Use Your Filter
Do not take everything said at face value. If the person is super sweet and caring in their words, take time to make sure this is who they are all the time, not just with you. It may be an act to get you to stay with them.
Hold Onto Trust
Trust is great, but it must be earned. If the person is saying all the right things when you are just flirting, do not totally let your guard down. This could be a recipe for a risky situation. Get to know them well before fully trusting them.
Do Not Feed Emotion
You are more likely to fall in love too fast if you tell yourself this person is the one. Do not feed the emotions, but let them develop normally, if they do. Keep your interests so your mind will be engaged on things other than the new interest. Discipline the mind so you can filter thoughts out when necessary.
Don’t Obsess
Part of disciplining your mind is to slow feelings and emotions down. Part of this means not thinking about the person all day every day. Divert your attention when you find yourself obsessing.
Stop Stalking
While social media is a great way to learn about a person, stop the stalking immediately. This can cause you to fall in love with the perfect online life, not the real person. This is also obsessive which is unhealthy.
Avoid Spending Too Much Time Together
Being with someone alone regularly will make the attachment grow. Limit alone time with the potential love of your life so your feelings do not come on too fast. Take time to yourself, with friends and family.
Do Not Initiate
Do not encourage sweet talk early on in the relationship. This can include pet names and talks about heartbreak or the ideal partner, to keep things in check.
No Hinting
Though it is tempting, do not hint that you are attracted to the person until you are certain you know them. If you do, it could be used to manipulate you. Allow the attraction to grow naturally, not be forced or used.
Assume Nothing
Unless someone outright says something, do not assume it. You may think there is something special, but it could be one sided. Allow real feelings to come out in their time.
Be Open
You may think that person is the one, but do not close yourself off to others. This can keep your options open and your feelings in check. Meet others as friends and potential partners, so if the obsession disappears, you will not be in as much pain.
Remember that true love will not happen overnight. The safest way to open your heart is to start with friendship and see what develops. Guard your heart and do not rush things.